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  • Is it okay for a married man/woman to kiss another in a scene?

     Kenya Branch updated 2 years, 8 months ago 9 Members · 16 Posts
  • ICFF Staff

    April 24, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    Love to hear your opinions on this.

  • Meggie Jenny

    May 2, 2020 at 4:21 am

    This is actually a question that comes up a lot. There is no “one size fits all” for this. It comes down to the actor and their convictions. Each actor needs to have an open conversation with their spouse about it and they need to seek the Lord on it. I, personally, don’t feel the Lord telling me no, but my husband is not comfortable with it. Out of respect to my husband, I don’t kiss on screen.

    Also, there are so many ways to tell a story without a kiss. There are also creative ways to “fake” a kiss on screen and no one is the wiser.

    The most important thing is to make that choice for yourself, as the actor, and hold fast to that boundary.

  • Marty

    May 2, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    @meggiejenny you’ve made a great point. I do notice that there have been a lot more “kisses” in Christian film. What if you don’t want to, what do you do though? Do you talk to the producers, your husband/wife or do you just let it go?

  • Meggie Jenny

    May 2, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    I’ve received scripts where my character is kissing another actor. I am always very honest about it with production, BEFORE accepting the role. In the Christian film world as of now, the director and I have always made it work. We’ve done the “nearly kiss” or the faked kiss (camera angles and blocking are critical to make that work, but it’s always looked completely natural in the experience I have with it). That does not mean I expect productions to adjust to me either. I have had secular projects that I have turned down due to content or production wanting the kiss to remain in the script. I absolutely get that! It’s the director’s vision for the film that needs to be served. Actors should always be up front about anything they are uncomfortable doing on screen. It doesn’t serve the production or yourself to not be honest from the moment you see something in the script you’re not comfortable doing on screen. You shouldn’t comprise your convictions for your career.

    Also, remember you are not alone in this conviction. Neal McDonough has made a name for himself as someone who won’t kiss on screen and he has been a part of some very successful projects. You don’t have to force your way into a room God wants you in. Trust Him to bring the right projects, keep working hard and stay true to the boundaries God gave you.

  • Meggie Jenny

    May 2, 2020 at 3:18 pm

    Also, I should include that becuase I don’t feel the God has given me a “no” on this topic, if there was a project that I felt strongly about, I would talk to my husband about it.

    However bottom line, if he isn’t comfortable with it, I value him more than the role and I’d turn it down.

  • Marty

    May 2, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    What about people that do not know that creative camera work has been done and the “kiss” is not a real kiss. Do you worry about being judged? Do you feel you have to explain?

  • Meggie Jenny

    May 2, 2020 at 3:34 pm

    I really don’t. The only person’s opinion that matters in that situation is my husband. If worrying about what reactions will be is a concern for someone, then they probably won’t be able to play the scene truthfully and in my opinion, probably shouldn’t do it.

    I’ve learned that people are going to believe what they want about you. As an actor, my job is to serve the story and be the most truthful and compelling version of the character I can be. As long as I am holding true to my convictions, then I can play that role without a hesitation.

  • Marty

    May 2, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Powerful! So good @meggiejenny and so wise. I hope to hear from others on this.

  • randyjgoodwin

    May 3, 2020 at 11:45 pm

    Hello Mary!

    Well…I’m that actor every audience WANTS to kiss the girl, yet, I rarely do because I choose not to. In 24 years as a working actor, I’ve only kissed six (6) women on screen. Only one of those women I had to kiss more than once. I actually kissed my wife the way I kiss on screen to show her that it’s not sexy and that, for the actress, it’s not good, but LOOKS good! Lol. I do pray about eveything I do in Hollywood anyway.

  • Marty

    May 4, 2020 at 2:49 am

    Hi Randy

    That’s an interesting take. How does your wife feel about that and what was her response after showing her?

  • Ducon Williams

    May 5, 2020 at 4:57 pm

    @meggiejenny Really enjoyed reading about how you’ve handled this and the wisdom that you’ve applied. My wife and I studied the origin of a kiss and found that fathers used to perform the marriage ceremonies for their daughters, and men were not allowed to kiss the girl until the father, at the ceremony, granted permission with the words, “You may now kiss the bride.” It was only after they had made their verbal covenants that he would grant that permission to the man, and the “kiss” was symbolism for the sealing of that covenant. My wife and I had our first ever kiss at our wedding, and it has always felt right to us to honor each other with our lips by not kissing another person’s lips for any reason.

    But I completely agree with your first statement, especially, Meggie. Honoring our Lord and spouse should come first, in my opinion, but I would never fault any actor/actress who felt that it was OK to do it.

  • Marty

    May 5, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    @Ducon wow! I had no idea. Thanks for sharing that.

  • Paul D. Schad

    May 6, 2020 at 12:27 am

    I really enjoyed all the responses – very informative.

  • Theresa Wylie

    May 6, 2020 at 3:06 am

    Totally agree with you @meggiejenny Well said.

  • BenaKlier

    May 20, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    As a writer and director I discuss with potential actors what their boundaries are. Couples in the industry should have that conversation prior to marriage. There are ways to emulate a kissing scene without actually touching lips yet embracing and a turn of the head. If the scene is portrays husband and wife then its a must to have yet ways to accomplish without disrespecting anyone.

    • Kenya Branch

      May 27, 2020 at 3:53 pm

      Once I cast an actress for a short where her character kisses her boyfriend. The night before the shoot she said she wasn’t going to kiss the actor, so we “faked it” for the shoot.

      Since then, I ask all actors if they’re comfortable with a kissing scene during auditions.

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